Big Black Balloon.

[POEM EIGHT]

Now I have this big black balloon

Inside my body

Inside my head

Beneath my skin

First, it was small

It didn't bother me at all

Like a Ping Pong ball

Slight and intriguing and odd

Then the ball started growing

Slowly at the beginning

Quickly at the end

I don't remember how it happened

But suddenly Ping Pong thing became a Basket ball

Feeding itself with my happiness

With my strength

With my life

It was inside my lungs

Leaving me no air to breathe

Making me feel tired and small

I tried to leave it behind

To drop it somewhere far away from home

But somehow it always knew how to come back

That crazy stupid ball

Some days it turns so invisible

I think it is already gone

But at night this familiar feeling wakes me up

Ball bouncing down the hall

 

And I forgot about how to fight long ago

And I forgot how it was to live life

Without this companion of my soul

Now I have this big black balloon

Walking with me till the end

It has grown so big, so fast

Now I can not even think

And I can neither speak, eat, cry,

sleep nor smile

The only thing I know

Is that this balloon is going to burst soon

No matter how hard I try not to vanish

I think it is best to give up finally